Inappropriate text conversation, Take One

(Best pic stitch ever, btw)

Being offensive is one of the things I do best... It's a blessing and a curse. 

My perspective might be skewed.

So, I got a lease renewal faxed to me with this cover sheet...

And I thought... Woah! This chick is renewing her lease from rehab!? That's so responsible I'm not certain she actually needs rehabilitation. She is totally a high functioning substance abuser. What's so wrong with that?! I know sober people with their shit less together. 

Then I realized her mom is a doctor there. 

Biggest disappointment. Ever. 

Carnival music can't be wrong... It feels so right.

Today at work I did a "hell yeah" fist punch into the air...because cake.

In doing so, my shirt lifted just enough to show part of the hand print tattoo on my right hip. A coworker was standing just behind me, and on my right side. They caught a glimpse of the tattoo and said "um, what the hell was that."

"A tattoo.  Of a hand."

"Seriously? That's interesting placement"

"Yep, like an instruction manual is the joke I generally get"

Other coworker "wait, you have a hand print, on your hip, that looks like its gripping you?"

First coworker "Please don't tell us there's an 'insert here' tramp stamp... Step right up!" 

Que carnival music and a highly inappropriate dance jig.

So many great memories involve carnival music, and that my friends speaks volumes.

My magical life keeps getting better...

Cheers!

Happy Update

I've been house and dog sitting for Mr. Duff this week. I like how much his house feels like home, even with the severe lack of my cat and personal things. But I nest well here. He's got a beautiful life on this little island, and I'm glad that he often shares it with me.

    Just me & Kaiser, playing up the lens. 

Work is going really well, we're starting new projects and are in a constant flourish at all hours. My coworkers are excellent characters, and I'm grateful for the teamwork that lacks animosity. 

I feel calm and quiet. I laugh more. 

I do wish for the distance to not seem so far between me and a handful of loved ones I left in Chattanooga, but sadly my magic only works by pure accident. If I could get control of that nonsense... damn I'd be the winningest girl around. 

Involuntary crying while shoe shopping

Picture this...

Me at Target crying in the shoe section. (Don't ask, it was a rough morning)

A very sweet older woman says "Honey, I know it's probably none of my business, but are you okay?" 

To which I respond, with snot coming out my nose, "my goldfish died".

Not even a giggle. My humor, under stress, is just lost on some people...

Hippo reunion tour!

This past weekend was quite the whirlwind. I drove back to Chattanooga Friday, after work, to retrieve my things from storage. When I got into town, near midnight, I was surprised by my wonderful pals with the news that all my things were already packed and ready to go! Seriously, no one has better friends than I do. It's no wonder I consider them my family. 

Saturday morning we got up and headed first to Atlanta to make an Ikea trip. Pookie learned that he has little patience for shopping with Hippo and I, on a Saturday, at Ikea. However, we did see little Asian nuns, and I feel that should have made up for well, everything. I don't know why but Hippo and I get damn excited over some nuns!

We finally arrived in Savannah less than 24 hours after I left and unpacked the truck into my new little space. All the while being eaten by mosquitos! I have over 40 bites on one leg!! I'm lathered in Benadryl spray and gel. I'm itchy and uncomfortable.

Last night, we enjoyed an amazing dinner cooked by Mr. Duff and then some hot tub relaxing time. Oh, and of course Hippo and I ended up in military uniforms, because well when we combine wine and that man's closet strange things happen...

Captain Lobster & Captain Hippo at your service!

Today, Hippo and Salapeno left to make the journey back to the 'noog. I already miss them!! BUT, the severe itching will be a nice reminder of the weekend for the next few days...

This week's edition of why cameramen should follow me

Things I wish would have been recorded for humor, and personal archives (this week):

1) Ticky (a 75 year old southern woman) and myself moving a couch and huge ass console television. 

2) Pookie and I shopping at the Dollar Tree for sympathy cards and scented trash bags. 

3) Me trying to be Wonder Woman and carry an obnoxious amount of things up a VERY narrow stairway into the carriage house. With little success. 

4) Me arguing with a real estate broker that assumes I'm dumb or easily confused. 

5) Me guarding dog and cat food from a miniature pig. Jellybean, the pig, is a persistent and sneaky little booger. She also bites.