Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Adventures in Waxing. With Jesus.

Yesterday I decided to be adventurous and have my waxing done at a new location. 

I figure, why not trust my vagina to strangers wielding hot wax?! You only live once!!

I enter this north shore establishment, and I'm overstimulated by the hot pink walls and gaudy decor. Welcome to Basic Girl Mecca. 

The woman I was scheduled to see was running behind with a full body wax, and I could wait or take another employee. Being that I have no loyalties, I decided to go ahead with the available gal. 

She is a beautiful black girl. With natural hair in a tamed Afro, great make up skills and positive energy. She instructs me to undress from the waist down, climb up on the table and she'll be right back. 

In most salons, they offer a courtesy towel to cover your bits for modesty. Well, not at this pink palace - you bare all. 

She returns to the room and we commence into non committal chit chat. Where are you from, what do you, are you married? I answer politely, while my legs are in the butterfly position and she's slathering on hard wax in my headquarters region. 

She starts to tell me about her life, and how she's an aspiring singer and actress. She prayed to God to put her on a path to success and she believes she has found this great balance and that her dream life is flourishing. She's traveling through the week with a Christian band, and they're all home in time for church on Sunday's in their hometown. She's genuinely glowing and I can't help but feel content in her presence. 

Well, apparently my silence during reflection made her uncomfortable. And she asks "what's on your mind Miss Amanda?"

I respond, "oh nothing. I was just processing your story. I'm very happy for you. It's nice to hear positive stories. And I respect that you looked toward your faith to find your way. It's a beautiful idea..."

She looks confused and says "idea?... Well Amanda, when was the last time you asked God about your path?"

"Um... Well... It's been a while. I've been busy."

"Oh" through laughter "He knows you're busy. He knows before you know. But you can talk to him anytime. Even right her on this table!"

"I'm in a bit of a compromised position. I don't think this is the right time"

"I think it's time for you to get right with him. Stop running away and denying him. Everything will come together once you just give him the power... He'll lead you to a husband and a family and the life you're born to lead..."


She continues "I've never had an experience like this here, but I think God put you in my path and that we're sisters in Christ. Pick up a bible, ask where to look. He won't let you down"

And then she leans down and hugs me. While I am half naked and wax between my legs... And kisses my cheek. 

I walked away feeling confused, inhibited and like maybe I should go to church...

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Self-centering - But not the egotistical kind...

So, it's been several months since I've taken the time to write on this blog. My apologies, to myself and you, for not being more mindful of my needs to write. Or at least to write in my true voice. I took a hiatus in the attempts to go a different route with my writing, and my purpose. It turns out that I wasn't doing anything wrong, until I stopped writing here. Sure I've cataloged some stories in my physical journals, and I contributed a few submissions to another site that I'm certainly proud of - in it's own respects.

All of that being said, I'm welcoming myself back.

I signed up for an online writing course, for children's books. I know, I know - me influencing children?! I'm a little afraid too. BUT I do have some amazingly talented artists in my life that are already scurrying for their paintbrushes and sketchpads to help with illustrations and bringing characters to life! I figure if I, and my pack of misfits have grown up SO incredibly awesome - we might as well spread that gospel! Right? Right!

Additionally, today I took my emotions to the mat. The yoga mat. And boy did we come to blows. My body is rigid and wobbly. And by the end, during meditations, I was crying my little peepers out. The release of that negativity is just the beginning, I know that. I have no doubt that I'm going to have many more sessions with tears and fumbling before I find my roots in this mat and in my person. I pay no service to my friends, and more importantly myself if I lack as much balance as I currently do. It is VERY important that I regain control of my breathing and letting go of everything else.

Watch out, the the mat hits back...

Thursday, January 23, 2014

In Remembrance

Today, he would have turned 37. There would have been singing, lots of singing. He loved when everyone was belting out songs, he didn't care if you could carry a tune as long as you did it with gumption. 

He died, unexpectedly, three and half years ago. Part of my world stopped that day. He was my high school sweetheart. My biggest cheerleader, as well as my biggest pain in my ass. 

He taught me how to love with abandon like only a teenage girl would understand. He forced me to mend my broken heart, (that he caused), taught me how to be angry (again that he caused) and how to forgive (because you never stop loving that first love). In the 15 years we graced each other lives we ran the spectrum of relationships from friends, to lovers, then enemies and finally friends again.

Rarely do several days pass that something about that man doesn't cross my mind. I see him all over this city, even though we have no memories here. I have no doubt that he still watches over me, pushes me and helps me learn valuable lessons. 

Today I live for you, Jason Kirby, our friendship and our unconditional love. And I'm thankful to my friends, still with me, that help me celebrate and remember you. And grateful for your family that continues to keep your spirit alive and me in their hearts with you. Always.