Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Inappropriate text conversation, Take One

(Best pic stitch ever, btw)

Being offensive is one of the things I do best... It's a blessing and a curse. 

Thursday, August 8, 2013

My perspective might be skewed.

So, I got a lease renewal faxed to me with this cover sheet...

And I thought... Woah! This chick is renewing her lease from rehab!? That's so responsible I'm not certain she actually needs rehabilitation. She is totally a high functioning substance abuser. What's so wrong with that?! I know sober people with their shit less together. 

Then I realized her mom is a doctor there. 

Biggest disappointment. Ever. 

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Carnival music can't be wrong... It feels so right.

Today at work I did a "hell yeah" fist punch into the air...because cake.

In doing so, my shirt lifted just enough to show part of the hand print tattoo on my right hip. A coworker was standing just behind me, and on my right side. They caught a glimpse of the tattoo and said "um, what the hell was that."

"A tattoo.  Of a hand."

"Seriously? That's interesting placement"

"Yep, like an instruction manual is the joke I generally get"

Other coworker "wait, you have a hand print, on your hip, that looks like its gripping you?"

First coworker "Please don't tell us there's an 'insert here' tramp stamp... Step right up!" 

Que carnival music and a highly inappropriate dance jig.

So many great memories involve carnival music, and that my friends speaks volumes.

My magical life keeps getting better...