Thursday, March 19, 2015

7 thoughts from my past "week".

Alright... It's been a little over a week, but whatever - let's review some things.

1. I recently had a discussion with someone about my ex-husband's new wife. (the original husband, for anyone keeping track.) And as I described her, my friend said "You're a unicorn and she's a nutter". I think that basically sums up my entire life with most friends/exes wives.

2. The same "friend" from above invited me over for brunch recently, and said he'd make lamb. (Yes I find that to be an odd brunch item too) I had to decline the invite, but asked if I could still have the lamb. He said "You can keep the leg. I'm more into physiologically anonymous meat.". That basically sums up how I feel about meat too.

**It was brought to my attention by aforementioned friend that he invited me to TWO different engagements (brunch and/or dinner) and that he does not serve lamb for brunch. We all know, all he has to do is offer me food, I don't care when or where...**

3. It's a little known matter of fact that you can find a Steve Harvey photo to answer basically any text message that a friend sends to you. It brings me great JOY. And confuses the hell out of some people.

4. Recently a friend posted a photo of her and her son at a "Muffins with Mommy" event. I'm guessing it's the counter to all these recent "Dancing with Daddy" things. Any excuse to throw a party, huh?! Which brings me to my next question... I wonder how many people would show up for "Muffins with Mayo" or maybe "Margaritas with Mayo" is more appropriate... thoughts?

5. It's no secret that I collect bad decisions (adventures) like most people collect tchotchke (stuff you don't need). But I don't go getting all judgmental because you like to collect frogs, so back off. (Fine, I get a little judgmental- but only because why collect frogs when you can collect adventures?!)

6. I know that my head and heart are fragile as eggshells. Mostly my heart. My head is fairly sturdy and trusty. But my heart, well she's a big ol' mess. So, I've signed her up for self-defense classes... (Essentially some yoga and dance, but highly effective methods of exalting goddess like qualities!)

7. I have a nearly uncontrollable urge to refer to all men named Brad as B-Rad.

Sunday, March 8, 2015

My Weekend Rear View.

I've decided to start doing hindsight updates. You know, go over some highlights for the past few days or so. My attempt are making this space once again relevant to my life...

1. I've begun starting each day in Superhero Pose. I got the idea from a TV show and find it to be rather rewarding. Feet planted firmly, hands on hips, chin lifted, chest out, and gazing at my future. It's powerful. And entertaining. 

2. My friend Shandi pointed out that as girls, we are protective of our kind. She put it best this week by saying "somehow a friend's vagina is always just more precious than your own". It's true. I don't like when my friends get dicked around, and vice versa. 

3. Playing in the woods with a strong man friend is probably one of the most therapeutic things I've done in a long time. I might have come home bruised about my ribs and smelling like a dirty hippie, but I wouldn't change it for the world. 

4. Breakfast for dinner is still one of the best choices one can make. Honestly, go make eggs and pancakes. You won't regret it. 

5. My best friend just turned 30. She doesn't even realize how awesome that is. Life changes. Embrace that shit. 

I know there are more things I should talk about, but it's late. I'm taking my happy and rejuvenated ass to bed. ❤️