Thursday, March 19, 2015

7 thoughts from my past "week".

Alright... It's been a little over a week, but whatever - let's review some things.

1. I recently had a discussion with someone about my ex-husband's new wife. (the original husband, for anyone keeping track.) And as I described her, my friend said "You're a unicorn and she's a nutter". I think that basically sums up my entire life with most friends/exes wives.

2. The same "friend" from above invited me over for brunch recently, and said he'd make lamb. (Yes I find that to be an odd brunch item too) I had to decline the invite, but asked if I could still have the lamb. He said "You can keep the leg. I'm more into physiologically anonymous meat.". That basically sums up how I feel about meat too.

**It was brought to my attention by aforementioned friend that he invited me to TWO different engagements (brunch and/or dinner) and that he does not serve lamb for brunch. We all know, all he has to do is offer me food, I don't care when or where...**

3. It's a little known matter of fact that you can find a Steve Harvey photo to answer basically any text message that a friend sends to you. It brings me great JOY. And confuses the hell out of some people.

4. Recently a friend posted a photo of her and her son at a "Muffins with Mommy" event. I'm guessing it's the counter to all these recent "Dancing with Daddy" things. Any excuse to throw a party, huh?! Which brings me to my next question... I wonder how many people would show up for "Muffins with Mayo" or maybe "Margaritas with Mayo" is more appropriate... thoughts?

5. It's no secret that I collect bad decisions (adventures) like most people collect tchotchke (stuff you don't need). But I don't go getting all judgmental because you like to collect frogs, so back off. (Fine, I get a little judgmental- but only because why collect frogs when you can collect adventures?!)

6. I know that my head and heart are fragile as eggshells. Mostly my heart. My head is fairly sturdy and trusty. But my heart, well she's a big ol' mess. So, I've signed her up for self-defense classes... (Essentially some yoga and dance, but highly effective methods of exalting goddess like qualities!)

7. I have a nearly uncontrollable urge to refer to all men named Brad as B-Rad.

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