Wednesday, April 1, 2015

He went to Jared, and I took it back...

It's a known fact among my friends that I date on a sliding scale. I don't have a "type". However, it is fair to say I have a not at all my type. The not my type's include (but are not limited to) the ridiculously immature, unmotivated, and humorless.

A couple years ago I was dating a man whom evaded every mark on my "not" list. He was handsome, intelligent AND educated, witty, gregarious, and adored me. (I still kick myself for seeing how delightfully magic he was far too late...) In addition to all his wondrous elite character, he was also an excellent gift giver. Most of the time.

One year, for Christmas, he bought a beautiful necklace and charm for me. I say it was beautiful, because by all standards, it was. It was a heart, covered in sparkly diamonds on a thin silver thread. Sadly, I don't particularly fancy diamonds. Or hearts. Luckily, another fine attribute of this man was his graciousness. He told me I could return the gift if I didn't like it, and he meant that genuinely with no hard feelings.

A friend of mine escorted me to the store, Jared's, as I figured I might want assistance in picking out something new, and I don't always love dealing with retail employees in certain settings. Over-priced box store jewelers is one of those settings... So off we went, backup in tow!

Upon entering the store, I was put off by the overhead bright lights and the not always fresh smell of dry cleaned suits. We were greeted by an associate, eager to assist, until he realized I wasn't there to purchase. I explained that I wanted to exchange a gift and he took us to the back of the store, away from the eyes and ears of others, to look up the transaction.

I didn't have the receipt, but I obviously knew the customer's name. I also knew that he had shopped in this store before and they could likely find it that way. I gave the associate my beau's name and he was unable to find it. I spelled it out more clearly, as he doesn't have a common name and even offered to write it down. Still nothing.

I looked sheepishly at my friend, then laughed, perhaps manically, and suggested that the associate look up the name of the gentleman's wife...


After a few uncomfortable clearings of his throat, the associate located the boyfriend's name, horribly misspelled, and account. There at the end of a long list of transactions was my necklace... which I exchanged for a beautiful pearl faced Citizen watch and a pair of pearl earrings.

I still wear both. Almost daily.

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